This post has been swirling in my head for the last few months and I’m always worried about how it may be viewed, interpreted or better yet misinterpreted. This space has always been where I work out my thoughts so I hope you don’t mind this indulgence on my part.
Disappointments:
- opening the fridge and there being no cold coca cola
- printing a 3D model and watching it be mangled
- realizing the night before you have double booked the next morning
- spending hours on a task and realizing you misread the instructions
- Seeing what you think I s a brilliant idea wilt
- hearing no or not being heard
- having a vision that you can’t seem to communicate clearly
- knowing that you are letting your ego make more of a situation
I don’t think they ever discussed the disappointments in teacher’s college or coaching training, the moments where things don’t go as planned, where reality and expectations didn’t quit meet. Now I think in theory we all know disappointments are a part of life, with the good comes the not so good sometimes. I’m still struggling my way through those moments whenthey appear but I’ve learned that every disappointment is an opportunity for reflection. An opportunity to look at the other side of an argument. An opportunity to practice empathy. An opportunity to innovate, be creative and find a different path.
So the take away? Don’t dwell on the disappointment but rather on the next step.
Now to put that in to practice is a little harder than writing it down.
How do you deal with disappointments?
Miss Kit Kat 
What a courageous post Tina.
You like to write down your thoughts, I need to talk them through, sometimes to others but often to myself. I try really hard (and still have lot’s of problems) to let go of the Why? Why? Why? (EGO, EGO, EGO) and focus on the, what? What is the universe teaching me? What am I not getting? What is the reason this keeps happening to me? What is it that I am supposed to do with this disappointment?
Once I figure that out (and often because of my ego I don’t even get there) I have a clearer understanding of what the universe wants for me.
I really connect with having a vision you can’t communicate clearly and hearing no or not being heard (and the ego thing, too, let’s be honest). I struggle big time with taking things personally. I struggle with not living up to my own expectations and letting myself down. I struggle with letting others down and knowing I am doing it. I am aiming to use it all as a learning experience – onwards and upwards, right – but can have moments of struggling with not letting disappointments multiply. I’m trying to temporarily refocus. Get my head out of the space only to return later when I can be more objective. It’s a journey, for sure.
I like how you mentioned ‘get my head out of the space’. I have learned that is so important for sure. Stepping back and taking a second look. A no seems really hard sometimes but sometimes with time we can see the other side.
Disappointments are just a fact of life for all of us. They can make, shape or sometimes break you. It is a time for reflection but not until you’ve experienced the Why questions a few times. Was it the lack of clear communication or not understanding the big picture or even the closed mindedness of others or ourselves at times. Sometimes just forgetfulness. It in the end is what do we do with the disappointment. Does it define us for awhile or for life or are we able to put it in its’ rightful place as a blip on the radar? Guess it depends on the level of disappointment and its’ impact in your life. Great piece Tina. Being reflective learners is a lifelong process if one is open. Disappointment often comes when dealing with those who are closed.