When Doubt Moves In

It’s been awhile since I blogged. Although I have a long list of ideas to blog about, doubt settled in. So this isn’t really a blog post about education but maybe you have doubt has settled in on you too.

I always felt a little doubt did me well. A bit like in the movies when the small voice in your head or cartoon character on your shoulder helped lead you away from harm or doing something REALLY stupid.

A pinch of doubt before a big presentation reminded me I was human and that I cared enough to be nervous. Then there’s the voice of doubt as you start a new project that makes you pause for a second to ensure you are doing it for the right reason.

A little doubt kept me in check, kept me humble but it always passed.

Sometimes though doubt moves in and settles down. Doubt follows you like a grey rain cloud you can’t shake. You doubt your work, your impact, your path. Doubt has you questioning whether you are the educational ‘non-teacher’ leader you read about in tweets. It has you questioning whether you are doing deep enough, rich enough, innovative work. Worse of all it has you questioning if you are leading at all.

It’s weird how doubt can twist you up, turn you around and hold you hostage.

But then it hit me, doubt is only able to settle down when my ego gets in the way; when I start comparing what I do to how others do it; when I loose my sense of who I am. So time to send doubt it’s eviction notice and refocus on what I do.